15 weeks 2 days

Today was OB appointment #3, very routine, didn't even have to change into a gown!  We were seeing Dr. Jarrett instead of Dr. Thomas, and when we arrived he wasn't quite back yet from delivering a baby and we had to wait a little. 

We found out that I have had no weight change since the last appointment, I'm still at minus eight pounds from when we started this journey.  I told him how there is still morning sickness, and about my insurance woes.  He said that was very backwards of them, only allowing me 15 generic brand pills a month, and he hasn't heard of something like this for about 10 years.  He suggested we call them and find out who we need to send letter/documentation to regarding the fact that I obviously need more than one pill every other day, especially since they're prescribed to be taken every 6-8 hours.  He also suggested a few classes to take, which I will look into.  Upon leaving we discovered even more insurance problems as we were asked to pay almost a thousand dollars at check-out.  Turns out insurance has been neglecting to pay their portion of the co-pay on my visits, since even after 3 phone calls and a couple of faxed letters stating the fact that I DO NOT HAVE ANY OTHER COVERAGE, they still maintain that I have other coverage and that other coverage should be paying this.  The front office manager said this isn't unheard of, they are "stalling" and making it look like I am not contacting them.  After we left Scott called his insurance/pension plan people at the Union and they confirmed they had documentation about my lack of other coverage and told us not to worry, the doctor was going to get paid.  So for now, that part at least has been taken care of.  Or so they are telling us. 

I definitely did not see things going this way, weight-wise.  I figured since I'm already slightly overweight, I was going to be a fat cow and have issues with gaining too much weight.  I'm not completely upset that I'm having the opposite problem (for myself), but I am worried about how it affects the baby.  But so far everything seems normal, and next month is the exciting ultrasound appointment!  I can't wait to feel this baby move and to be able to think of it as a "he" or "she", which I think will make things seem much more "real."  So far I feel like this vague ambiguous being is growing inside me, with no real personality attached to it.  Movement and gender will help me bond, I think. 

Current symptoms:  Morning sickness, constant runny nose, a bit of a baby belly, headaches, lots of fatigue, dizziness, constipation, and hemorrhoids. 

Current favorite joke:  When my stomach growls, I tell people around, "The baby is growling!  Did you hear that?!"

14 weeks 4 days

Yes, I realize it's been a very long time since I posted.  Morning sickness has hit me pretty hard, and pretty much this entire time I've been focusing what little energy I've had on working full time.  There's been little time leftover for socializing or playing.  And I've definitely not wanted to blog about feeling like crap the entire time.

We had our first OB appointment at the end of May, and got the first ultrasound at that time.  We heard the heartbeat, confirmed that there was only ONE baby (I hadn't even thought of twins until then!), and attempted to have blood drawn.  I was too dehydrated that day and had to come back a few days later.  The second appointment was on my mom's birthday, June 28.  We heard the heartbeat again, got the blood test results (everything that is supposed to be positive is positive, everything that is supposed to be negative is negative, and my blood type is AB+, the universal recipient), and discovered that I'd lost 8 lbs in one month!  I was prescribed Zofran for the morning sickness and told to be very very careful about constipation with this medication.

The week before that appointment I drove out to Pittsburgh to go to a Modest Mouse concert with my friend Jon Schaller, and threw up for the first time during the pregnancy--allllllll over the inside of his car and on myself.  It was explosive.  We had to stop so I could buy new clothes at Target.  Jon texts me every time he drives by that part of the highway to let me know the paper towels from that day are still there.  Perhaps they shall be there forever, as a testament to my trials and tribulations. 

The Zofran made me feel a lot more like my old self...not nearly as much energy, but at least I can get through a work day without wanting to die.  It's still tough at times, though.  And then the whole insurance thing is so much fun.  I've been on Scott's insurance since a couple months after the wedding (and at the time still had the option to get insurance through Pizza Hut, which was taken away about a month after I switched), but they've denied all the claims the OB has filed, stating that I had other coverage.  Meanwhile, this whole time Scott has been paying extra money out of his paycheck for my coverage.  Also, they limited the Zofran from the 30 pills I was prescribed a month to a mere 15, and I can't get an early refill without paying $160 out of pocket.  So after the initial Zofran relief, now I'm rationing them and partially miserable.  Though my friend Karissa did help me out with the leftovers she had from her recent pregnancy, which I have greatly appreciated!  Hopefully now that I'm in the second trimester this will no longer be an issue.  Still waiting for that!

I bought Scott a couple of baby-related items.  I got a set of Dallas Cowboys pacifiers, and a Cowboys diaper bag.  I KNEW Scott would be very against carrying whatever diaper bag I pick out because it would be too girly or purse-like for him, so he gets his very own manly diaper bag.  It even came with a Cowboys changing pad!  I think he liked it.

I'm starting to show a little now, which is weird to me because I've only gained 1.5 lbs back of the 8 lost last month.  But cool.  It's about time to start maternity shopping, I guess!

6 weeks 5 days

Ugh.  Morning sickness is the worst.  Most days, I can control it by eating little bits throughout the day so that I never get hungry.  Some days, like this past Friday and Saturday, it doesn't matter what I do.  And those days are always work days.  ......aaaaand I work in a restaurant, so that's awesome, getting to smell the disgusting food smells (our food isn't really disgusting, that baby just thinks that) all day. 

I've heard ginger helps, so this week I'm going to try to find a candy or something with ginger in it to attempt to combat the nausea.  I'm also finding that Biscoff cookies (the kind you get on the airplane) are helping.  And I haven't thrown up (yet), but that's normal for me, I feel miserable and horrible and barfy but never have any action to back it up (as in cases of motion sickness).  It's a rare occasion for me to vomit, and I'm not looking forward to it.  But according to all the pregnancy apps and information, I should start feeling better around week 13, so only 6 or 7 more weeks of wanting to die! 

Scott is getting more and more excited about this.  He keeps insisting we're having a boy, and will use male pronouns and talk about his son, and follow it up with the afterthought, "......or daughter."  I'm really feeling like the baby will be a girl.  That's my gut feeling.  I honestly don't care either way, I just want a BABY!  But I'm not really as interested in thinking of boy names or anything, I'm just focused on the girl aspect.  Plus, kooky as this sounds, I went on a website and took a Chinese gender prediction test (it chooses based on your age and the month of conception) that is reputed to be 90% accurate, and it says girl.  So we'll see. 

Scott keeps trying to touch my stomach, which I HATE (its always been my least favorite part of myself, and I don't like to have it receive attention).  I keep trying to tell him there's nothing to feel yet (Baby is only pea-sized right now) but he wants his "son" to "receive his energy."  What a goof. 

I already have a registry put together at www.target.com  if anyone is interested :)  I'm figuring we're going to mostly be getting the bigger ticket items ourselves, because I know lots of people are just going to wing it sans registry and get us cute outfits and whatnot, and I don't want to be majorly disappointed when I don't get complete matchy-matchy sets (I sure do love when things match).  Though I know if the bedding set isn't complete I'm going to freak out.  It has owls.  OWLS, PEOPLE!

5 weeks, 3 days

Jon Schaller just suggested I name the baby Wayne Tupac McKenzie if it is a boy.  He's about to get fired from being an uncle.

5 weeks!

This is crazy, I've only known about this pregnancy five days now and I feel like almost every day a new symptom has popped up.  I didn't even think I was pregnant when I took the test, I just thought I was a couple days late due to stress.  I realize now I already had experienced one symptom:  frequent urination.  I didn't realize that occurred so early in the game, but it does.  Later that same day, I could add sore breasts.  Next day was cramping.  Day after that, fatigue.  Next day, Super Smell (let's just say Scott is going to have to eat his stupid Poptarts in the car, because the whole basement seemed to reek of them).  And now I can check off morning sickness.  I've felt slightly queasy all day, off and on.  I am noticing it seems to come around when I'm hungry -- which is a very confusing feeling.  Who feels like eating and throwing up at the same time?  This girl.

When we went to Las Vegas in December, I bought some SeaBands for the plane ride home (which seemed to work, since I didn't throw up again).  I remember reading that they were recommended for use not only for motion sickness, but also for morning sickness.  I think I will probably be cracking those out in the next couple of days, especially for when I am at work.

4 weeks 6 days

I talked to the OB's office today.  I have an appointment set up for May 31, at which point we will get an ultrasound (to confirm the due date) and then see my doctor.  But based on dates and whatnot, the nurse I spoke with said my due date should be January 10, 2013.  And that I am 4 weeks, 6 days (we go up a week each Wednesday). 

I have to figure out what cute theme I am picking for weekly bump photos!  Crap!

I told a couple of people at work on Monday, and will be telling my boss today (Tuesday).  Everyone was excited for me; they know how much I wanted this!  Scott told a friend, Cale, who already has two daughters and was one of our groomsmen.  I believe he said something to the tune of "right on, man!"  I can't wait until Sunday so we can tell our families and make this Internet-Official (at which point I will make this blog public again)! 

I think I'm going to go ahead and send the college buddies a message letting them know they will be uncles, because I'm just so freaking excited about it!  AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Current symptoms:  cramping (that "tenseness" I mentioned earlier that is unlike period cramps), sore boobs, and frequent urination.  And I can't stop eating cheese or drinking milk, but that was true beforehand.  And maybe I can super smell the trash in the basement, but Scott wasn't here so I don't know if I have Super Smell or it was just that stinky.

Preggo my eggo?

It is very early Monday, May 7, 2012.  My boss was kind enough to give me Saturday and Sunday off this weekend (which is rather unheard of) but then yelled at me not to waste it.  He made me promise to do something fun.  I don't know that he would qualify it as "fun," but I'm pretty shocked, numb, overjoyed, overwhelmed, excited...you name it. 

As of Saturday I was two or three days late (do I need to spell it out?) and decided that even though I didn't think this would be the month, I would take a pregnancy test first thing upon waking up.  Now, I didn't think this would be the month because I know exactly what day I ovulated (thank you dollar store ovulation test), and it was April 20, the very same day Scott took off with his friend Wags to Bloomington for the night to see the Sublime with Rome concert.  So while a couple of days leading up to ovulation were utilized, ovulation day was a miss. 

So I pee in a cup, and follow the directions on the pregnancy test (also dollar store).  I have to wait 2-3 minutes, and of course I can't look away.  The control line is bright pink immediately, and there's a faint indication of where the test line is, but I look away because I'm sure that is just how the test works, not real, it's tricking me.  I've taken these before, I know you can kind of see the line.  So I wait.  Then I check again.  And again.  Because that is definitely a line.  It's not super strong and bright like the control line, but it is THERE.  OMG YES!  Scott's still at work!  When will he get home! OMG!

So I'm kind of scurrying around, trying to figure out what to do next, and I decide to clean out the mini-fridge here in the basement.  Something has leaked in there, because it's stinky, and everytime you open it it's gross.  So I did that.  Busy work.  Luckily Scott got home fairly quickly.  I let him walk in, asked how his day was, and then I told him.  His first reaction was a couple of bad words, but then he took his shoes off and thought about it for a minute.  Once he'd had time to process it, he smiled and gave me a kiss.  And then I made him take me to Benihana's, where I immediately realized I couldn't drink wine.  Dag, yo.  Also, we saw many purple prom dresses. 

We've decided to keep it hush-hush for a week.  Next Sunday is Mother's Day (how appropriate!) and we will tell our respective mothers that day.  Caryn's even having a cookout at her place, so my brother and sister and mom will all be there.  We went ahead and told my Dad, since I had to tell somebody (who wouldn't blab), and I live with him so that made sense.  He was okay at first, but freaked out a little bit when he realized he needed to decide what to be called - Papaw (neither of us really liked using that term once we hit our teens), G-Pa, Gramps, Old Man Creviston....  Haven't come to a decision yet, though. 

So I am going to try to get an appointment with my doctor on Thursday (it's the day I have off this week) to confirm.  And I have taken two more tests over the past couple of days, both faintly positive.  I'm still late, and my uterus feels tense--not in a crampy, "that-time-of-the-month" way, but different.  And now my boobs hurt a lot.  So.  Symptoms?  Or am I just projecting? 

I'm a planner, so my first reaction is to plan, but then I get overwhelmed within about thirty seconds.  I'm trying to just let it go for now, and wait until there is confirmation from a doctor that Someone is camping out in my insides.

And if there is, according to some app, based off the date of my last period, I'm due January 9.  Oh man, what if this is a Christmas baby.  I always promised myself I wouldn't do that, yet here I am....crap.

a day off...?

i'm realizing that for the past few months, i feel like every day "off" i've had has been ....well, fruitless or jampacked.  i don't know.  i think maybe i just need a vacation.  some of my days off are spent being a vegetable.  i sit at home all day in my pj's and watch netflix or whatever is On Demand that i need to catch up on.  i might do a couple of chores (laundry, clean the bathroom, etc) but for the most part i just sleep in and entertain myself with electronics.  other days are "errands" days, where i'm grocery shopping, running to the bmv, bank, shoe store, etc.  i'm going to the dave ramsey class at CATC, working on homework, making stops at all our friend's homes with scott, etc. 

maybe i just need to create.  i haven't done much of that for sometime, and my creativity has been itching.  pinterest just exacerbates the itch. 

scott and i are both off tomorrow (friday the 13th!).  scott took off because he had to work wednesday since they had inventory.  also, his older brother, rich, is moving to an apartment about 5 minutes away from us with his fiance and son.  i got friday off because nate (my boss) is "testing" kevin and jeremiah (fellow managers) to see if they can open on a friday morning together and nate come in to close and it not be a total disaster.  i think basically this categorizes nate and myself as their cleanup crew?  they're not bad fellows, they have big ideas and big passions regarding work that sometimes need to be channeled in different ways.  i'm someone that needs rules and guidelines and i will follow those to the ends of the earth and back, but without them i'm floundering.  it takes all sorts.  but yeah.  nate gave me the day off.  i realized at work on thursday that nate picked friday the 13th for his little test, which is funny. 

so i guess tomorrow at some point i will wake up, meet up with the boys doing their moving stuff, and help with girly things like unpacking and washing dishes, and picking up lunch.  family help day!

and then in july & october...vacations!

Becoming McKenzie

(I think Sarah probably did a post similar to this when she got married, I think I remember reading something like it....)

A few months ago I girded my loins and headed into the Social Security Office and changed my last name to McKenzie.  I say girded because (well, mainly, it makes me feel smarter) here lately I've felt like I have some sort of social anxiety disorder.  I'm perfectly fine in situations with people I know and places I am familiar with, but when you take away my comfort zone I will do my best to talk myself out of performing necessary tasks or getting things done.  I prefer to have a partner in crime to make me feel safe.  Same goes with phone calls to places like credit card companies, banks, etc.  I guess recognizing it is half the battle, because I've started forcing myself to work through it.  Hrmmm.  Anywho, I'm off original topic.  (But anyone reading this probably realizes how I love tangents.)

I've been a Creviston for 28 years, and a pseudo-McKenzie for 8 months.  At first it was very strange, and somewhat hurtful to leave myself behind like that.  I've grown used to who Suzin Creviston is, and I knew her pretty well.  But who the crap is Suzin McKenzie?!  Maybe not everyone will understand this, but changing a last name feels like a complete overhaul, like I'm throwing part of myself away to make room for something new.  That would be the positive outlook on it.  It also feels like abandonment.  I've always been a Creviston; now I am a McKenzie. 

Today Scott and I traveled to the Fishers Bureau of Motor Vehicles (which is my favorite branch, I never have to wait more than ten minutes to be helped, and everyone speaks English).  I had a long list of tasks to accomplish, which is why I procrastinated to this period of the year (plate renewal, license renewal, last name change, address change all at once.  One fell swoop).  I attempted a couple of weeks ago to complete this but was turned away for not having two forms of new address, just one.  I managed to renew my license and plates online, so those things were taken care of.  But today I had a car title to put in my name, and a new address, and a NEW NAME.  After about twenty minutes of Xeroxing, "legal checks", standard questions, photos, and touch-screen signatures, I walked out with a stack of papers declaring my status change.  And in ten business days I'll receive my new license and plate. 

Driving out of the parking lot, I turned to Scott and declared, "Now I'm really a McKenzie!"  He smiled, laughed a little, and said I'm still on probation.  I guess the Board of McKenzies still has to meet and vote me in as a permanent member (or so he says). 

I guess what really counts is I don't have to think so hard about signing "Suzin M. McKenzie" instead of "Creviston" on important things now.  Though my heart did whimper a little at the BMV when I saw "Creviston" on one of the documents the employee was shuffling around. 

peanut butter madness

ok, so like most 20-something technologically-savvy american women out there, i am rather obsessed with Pinterest.  i have a board for recipes, and the other night got bored and picked a random (and admittedly easy-looking) recipe to make.  i went with the fluffer nutter bites because they only had 5 ingredients (peanut butter, honey, dry milk, marshmallows, and crushed peanuts) and took 15 minutes to make (when you're not distracted by watching Smash on the television).  THEY WERE AWESOME!  i love them, scott loves them, and they're definitely something i will make again.  probably tomorrow, in fact.  delicious.

oh, and now i've actually pinterested in real life, so i feel less guilty about all the time i spend on there :)

basement living!

well, we are all moved in to the pretty neat basement of my dad's house in carmel.  we have quite a bit more space than the apartment gave us (just basement alone!).  there's a good sized bedroom, a very nice bathroom, storage, a very large open living room area, a small "wet bar" (which boasts a sink, dishwasher, mini fridge, and more than twice the cabinets lakewood lodge offered), a little office nook, and a movie theater.  the bedroom is directly under dad's bedroom, so if we turn the fan off we can hear dad snoring while he sleeps :). 

the fact that i'm using about one-third the gas i used to is a huge blessing, since instead of a half hour drive i now have a ten minute drive to work.  scott is only five minutes from work, and i think he likes that very much!  the only draw is being so far from our friends, so we're still driving back to the old 'hood to see them all the time. 

this upcoming wednesday scott and i will be beginning Financial Peace University, the Dave Ramsey course, to help us get our finances in check and get on the road to purchasing our first home.  we hope to save some cash up and pay off some debt towards this goal before the end of october.  i think this class is going to help us out a lot, and for that i am grateful.